How one joke becomes two. Or three. Or... you get the idea

So you have one joke. How does it become two, three or four? There are some comedians who come up with a funny premise, tell one joke about it, then move on. I shake my head at these miscreants. I shake my fist at them. I shake every part of my body able to oscillate - except for the toes of my left foot; even I have limits. Hidden inside each joke, there are more jokes. Jokes are Matreshka dolls. More importantly, sometimes the truly hilarious joke, the one which will get not just a laugh, but a round of applause is not the first joke you write, but the one hidden inside. YES, WE DON'T WANT NO STINKING LAUGHS, WE WANT APPLAUSE BREAKS.

Let me elaborate.

In my last blog I posted a routine I about lowered expectations. It went "In the gym, 4 years ago I used to want to look like a fitness model, now I just want to look like I did 4 years ago.  Financially, I used to want to get rich, now I just want to get out of debt. Romantically, I was looking for 'the one', now I'll take anyone."

On Saturday morning, I sat in my hotel room and began ELABORATING, going on NONSENSICAL TANGENTS, and ARGUING WITH MYSELF with respect to this lowered expectation routine.  I used a pen and paper at times.  At other times I simply spoke to myself like a deranged, unwashed, false prophet.  Here are a few of the  results:


ELABORATION

- Going to the gym after 4 years

• Perhaps a one liner - something like 'you never forget how to go to the gym. It's like riding a bike. One that doesn't move.'
• 'My body was in such serious pain that I got ill. What kind of self defeating body do I have? I try to help it be more healthy and it betrays me.  What's next, vomiting vegetables?'

NONSENSICAL TANGENT

- Wanting to get out of debt

• How about a tale of trying to get out of debt by planning a bank heist?  Also, why are there no bank heists nowadays?  They were all the rage in the wild west.  CCTV has condemned the children who would have been Butch and Sun Dance generations ago to rotting in jail.  And no train robberies either; now it's the train owners who rob us with their prices.   
• But really, what would my heist to get rich involve.  Realistically the only way I can make money with my skill set is to get 'discovered' by some TV exec, so I need to break into some BBC offices and get the producers to see my comedy genius under duress.  I could tell an audience the story of assembling a crack Ocean Eleven style squad -- one member would be a child to distract dirty BBC members ...

ARGUING WITH MYSELF

- Looking for the one.

• The punchline where I say I'd take 'anyone' is an absolute lie.  In fact, as you get older you get more picky.  1) each heartbreak is cumulative and makes you trust less; more red flags.  Humor is in increased loneliness, but increased fussiness.  Would you do that in any other sphere? It'd be like getting sick, but insisting only  a very specific doctor treats you.

I will try all these notions out at a new material night at some point, but yesterday night I was being paid to perform.  When I am being paid, I only use a maximum of three untested jokes. I tried the self defeating body joke and it didn't work but it was absorbed in my narration.  That's often a saving grace.  The audience doesn't need to  know you were trying to be funny when a joke fails.  When comedians say 'that's the last time I do that line' or 'I thought that would work better' I often shake everything but the toes of my left foot at them.   Every failed joke can just be demoted to set up for the next joke.

The other joke I tried fared better.

The video of said joke is below.  Also, anyone who watched the video in my last blog may note that I've rewritten the line 'fucking anyone' to 'I'd take anyone'.  Often when I first do a joke, the nervousness makes me swear unnecessarily. 

And so what was one routine is now two.  In this way jokes multiply.