Rewriting an Offensive Joke

Last week I wrote a blog titled ‘rewriting a sexist joke’.  It was put to me by another comedian that I did not actually rewrite anything.  I rather, discarded one joke as too sexist and wrote another joke on the same theme.  Agreed. 

This week, I have found an example where I actually did some genuine, honest-to-Baal, 100% rewriting.  In writing my last show ‘Barely Legal’, one morning’s writing  yielded the following routine.

Now, the joke clearly worked. Big laugh and some applause (WE DON'T WANT NO FRICKIN' LAUGHS, WE WANT APPLAUSE BREAKS.) Even so, I was not happy with the joke. The final punchline felt gratuitous. I don’t think that any subject is inappropriate for comedy. I have brought up genocide, HIV orphans and torture in jokes before.  I have no issue with addressing domestic violence in a comedy set. Except, I did not actually address anything. It was just the punchline, the shocking twist in the tale.

A lot of comedians use a shocking twist in the tale to get a laugh. Lo and behold, it’s revealed, the woman who he was having sex with in the story… is 11. Lo and behold, it’s revealed, the no smoking sign… was hanging outside a building in Aushwitz. There’s nothing wrong with this method. It works. However it would not work that well for my persona because I do jokes ‘about something’. 

Let me explain. If I just wrote lots of one liners which were puns and word games to elicit laughter, throwing in a few offensive pull back and reveals would not be a problem. When people rage at the content of someone like Jimmy Carr’s jokes, I think they miss the point. His jokes are not endorsing any particular political viewpoint or lifestyle. They are word games and concept poems, so he can tell a joke about a rapist that is not really about rape.

I cannot do that. Because I do routines about racism, religion and family that actually analyse my experiences of them, I present myself not as a gagsmith toying with words and concepts, but rather, as a humorous social commentator. If I bring up rape, it’s really rape. If I bring up domestic abuse, it’s really domestic abuse.

However, the 'I used to do that' joke got a big laugh. And applause.

I tried to soften the joke. I changed the punchline to ‘he slept with her sister… I used to do that’. It did not work as well. ‘Punched her in the face’ was the only line which worked because, indeed, of the shock. And then one day, a few months later, I realized that the funniest element of the joke was not the shock. It was 1) My envy at watching a partner with another man and 2) The twist. I kept the same format and rhythm for the joke, but rewrote it by relocating it in the world of politics and coming up with a new twist. This is the new version.

It works better I think you'll agree.  

PS: The joke gets laughs in Europe, but in Africa, it brings down the house.